There are ways to stimulate children’s active impulses and guide them through aggressive feelings. You can start by understanding the games your child is playing and allowing him a secure place in which he can go wild. Also, it would be nice if you sometimes take a pillow yourself and join the game.
Allow your child to play the games he likes –as long as it remains reasonable. Military games or competitive ones are ok as long as your child doesn’t hurt himself or someone else. That’s why you should set some ground rules that are good for your home but which don’t limit the opportunity to play, like for example – no playing ball inside the apartment. Stay close and monitor the situation to make sure that the children are being safe, but don’t interfere as long as they are not in danger of hurting themselves or someone else.
Allow your child to play the games which are forbidden at school. The schools must restrict some games due to a lack of space or adequate supervision. Besides, if parents don’t allow their kid some adventurous, exiting or violent fantasies into the home, the kid may end up feeling misunderstood.
Put a limit to the amount and the violence on which your child is exposed via television, movies and video games. Monitor the remote control. Install a TV only in the living room so that you can pay attention to what your child is watching. If you allow your child to change the channels he might apart from all the exciting and educational channels, also discover some harmful and violent content. Children are fascinated by these types of shows, and would rarely come and talk to you about the things they have just seen.
Also keep in mind that children’s fantasies are very different from a real aggression. If your child plays a game full of violent images don’t tell him that he shouldn’t do that. Instead, talk about how other people feel because of those games and set some rules to make sure the game is safe. Instead of just forbidding the game, try to understand it from a child’s perspective and discuss about ideas how to make it safe. Don’t be afraid if it’s a violent game – it’s just a game and their imagination is not always their reality.
Find a convenient spot for your children’s’ games. Instead of forbidding your children to run through the restaurant, suggest to them to save some games for later. This is a way for children to learn that playing is good, but that kind of behavior is not always appropriate for specific times and places.
Try not to criticize your child’s interests. There’s a very small difference between a hate towards the things your child loves and a hate towards the child itself. If you repeat to your child every day “I can’t believe you like this”, it is like you are saying that there is something wrong about his interests. That’s why you should keep an open communication and talk. Ask your child to tell you about his world, the things he likes and the things he finds upsetting. Listen to how he feels and try not to be prejudicial so that your he shouldn’t feel like he needs to hide his feelings from you. Try talking during playtime. Be patient if your child gets mad. If it does, instead of punishing him, help him express his feelings. Have in mind that most of the time kids can’t adequately express their feelings in a moment of anger.
And finally you should keep in mind that if you suppress your child’s natural aggression, it may become worse. Grounding the kid with punishments like sitting on a chair or limiting his movements only to his room can encourage additional aggression. And perhaps one of the worst examples is a punishment where you take away his free time. Teachers love to use this kind of punishment because kids love recess – but if a child loved reading, would the teacher take that away too? Think about that while you determine the punishment.